X + I = Happy

Double dimples showing,
Damn I love that smile.
It hurts me just knowing
That I've been waiting for a while
To spark up a conversation
And to no avail.
I have taken too much time
And now in my mail...

...Box I find an invitation.
One with a pink bow
On it as decoration.
It smells of lavender, oh!
What a penetration!
In my heart I feel a dagger
Abrade a new abrasion.
As I find that my equation...

...Is an inequality after all,
I brake down, fall to the ground
And feel my brain stall.
I can not stand the sound
Of birds chirping atop of trees as tall
As can be found
So from the ground
To the nest I throw a tennis ball.

I'm saddened now, but I do know
That, happy for you, I should be.
The problem is that I'm miserably
Wondering why he
Had to be quick to act, in fact just that,
Sincerely makes me weep.
I had a chance I failed to take because I failed to see
That without you as variable "X," (X) plus (I) does not equal (Happy).